Home So Sweet

Ok, I admit that I've found this post very difficult to sit down and write...I WANTED to update you all, I wanted to share how sweet it was to be home and put my arms around my boys and my best friend, who is the other half of me...I wanted to share how peace slowly has swept over our C as she sees all of her family together again and takes in worship and family meals and work and play and sleep and laughter...So I will start with that stuff. 

We finally made it home on Christmas eve day...at 2:00 a.m. (24 hours from when we'd started to travel...) my hubby had to work in the eve so I took our 4 children : ) to Christmas Eve candlelight service to worship and be with our church family and then came home and we decorated the tree together.  Oh so fun!  

                                           Ok, a lot of fun was had once it turned into a pajama party : )
Christmastime was spent mostly with Nana and Papa Grizzly (my mom and dad), 2 people whose faithfulness and unrelenting love are our children's and our sweet heritage.

I can't really fill you in on the hundreds of things C has discovered since coming home with us but I can give you a list of her favorite things which will give you a little glimpse...
1).  Climbing in bed with big brothers before the sun is yet up in the morning.
2).  Piling in bed with our 2 dogs before they are ready to face the morning.
3).  Long baths with big sister surrounded by bubbles and rubber duckies.
4).  Jumping on the trampoline with a big brother.
5).  Jumping on the trampoline with the other big brother.
6).  Jumping on the trampoline with big sister.
7).  Jumping on the trampoline with all 3.  (You may notice a pattern here...basically all day she asks, "Quieres saltar?" "Wanna jump?" unless she's on the trampoline.)
8).  Playing or dancing with Papa wherever, whenever.
9).  Reading books with Mami.  (She's discovered the excitement of a good story...oh joy!)
10).  Dress up days (defined as days that mom caves and puts her in the much requested dress, skirt or tights...often a compromise with a skirt or dress OVER fleece pants and top.)
I think those are her top 10 but I'm probably forgetting several as or more important...

We have begun our round of pediatric, endocrinologist, dentist, podiatrist appointments...trying to get her comfortable and to figure out what we can do for the movement and growth difficulties she has.  It's easy to get fixated on what's wrong and forget to step back and see that she's smiling and laughing and running and playing.  She can't identify a single color but she can recite the answer to the first 4 children's catechism questions...hmm...perspective needed!

I guess what was difficult about this post was the troubling time we'd spent with bureaucracy...which boiled down to unpleasant interaction with many, many individuals in my very beloved Peru.  Even without ever doubting that God had purpose and control, I struggled with things that seriously disturbed, angered and hurt me...it was a struggle to reflect Christ.  Forgiveness is such a big part of who we are in Him...I've been learning its importance all over again.  And that as He continues to faithfully forgive me so much.

Running through my head over the last 2 months has been the refrain from a worship song we sing at our church called:  All I Have is Christ..."Oh Father use my ransomed life in any way you choose and let my song forever be My Only Hope is You.  Alleluia, all I have is Christ.  Alleluia, Jesus is my life."  I kept repeating to myself, especially in the last week in Peru, what I pray will be the theme of my life:  

"Father, please use my ransomed life in any way you choose!"

...not what I expect, not what I have in mind, not what I'd hoped for but what He has chosen...that's what I want to want : ).